Impatiently Waiting

Long story short: Baby is due this Thursday, it feels like it should already be here. I don't do that well with waiting. I hate waiting in lines, stoplights, traffic, just about anything that doesn't allow me to move at my desired speed, which is usually timely and efficient. Waiting for your first child to come out is really a strange type of waiting. I really want to meet her, but realize each day that life will never be quite the same once she arrives. This isn't bad, it's just different. She is certainly kicking, pounding, rolling and moving like she may want out of there soon, and sometimes I wonder if she is ok in there. I asked her (the baby) today, and her response was a foot to my wife's ribs. Hmmmm, I bet that's how my wife wishes she could answer some of my questions as well. What to do while you hang around home waiting for a baby?

Today we decided we needed to make space in the freezer. This really means that my wife thinks I should eat all of the old food in there. So for lunch I ate pre-Obama onion rings, and a flaming meatball sandwich (made up recipe). That pretty much left me a few beers short of Homer Simpson. Having all motivation rapidly taken away I settled in to feed my PGA Tour addiction. Next thing you know a little Facebook, the Wild were playing hockey, and WHALA, I wasted the entire day. I took enough naps throughout the day that I am not tired tonight and am wondering why my DVR is recording the show 'Hole in the Wall?' Moreover, why is this show on television to start with? My big day of napping, watching golf, and eating made me too tired to make supper so I ate some crackers and deer sausage which means I now feel like crap and will probably feel worse when I wake up. I suppose that it's good for me to document this as the next posting on this blog will probably involve the birth of my child and my interpretation of that whole process. It's likely this description will be morbidly sarcastic, so be prepared. If this baby really wanted to be a daddy's girl, she would be on time, or even early. That's probably not going to happen and this is natures way of preparing me for the estrogen invasion that my home will soon undergo. It will be like throwing away your Twisted Sister posters after you got married and started painting accent walls in your house to match the towels you bought at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Instead I will be having tea with a little girl and three random dolls while I paint my own toenails and pretend the really small chair I'm sitting in is comfortable. In the end, it's really what's best. I am going to dig into the freezer for some more freezer burned 'treats.'