Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Controversey and Drama in Quest for Tallest Man


It appears that with all of the Olympic drama and the debate over how old Chinese gymnasts are we have forgotten about the all important records of The Guiness Book of World Records. I found this news today: Tallest Man Controversy.

In a rift of high drama, the self-proclaimed world's tallest man refuses to be measured by the officials at Guiness. The giant Ukrainian has chosen to go back to hearding animals and raising vegetables to let Bao (pictured left) reclaim his title. Here are the top 5 things I thoroughly enjoyed about this newsflash:

1. The worlds tallest man saved a dophin with his 3.47 foot arm (my arm is about 2 feet long). Holy dolphin throat!

2. The Ukrainian doesn't want to be measured officially by Guiness. Probably because he is trying to tell people he's 8'.5.5"(likely blaming on the faulty and unreliable conversions from the metric system)!! We all know that there is no quality control on those Ukranian measuring sticks......this smells like a doping controversy to me. It's sad, there just aren't any clean sports anymore.

3. They officiallly measure you "6 times in one day, both standing and lying down." Who writes these rules? I thought you just had your mom measure you against the kitchen wall and send in a photo. So much for getting away with standing on your toes so you look 8 feet tall.

4. The Ukranian doesn't want the "glory" that comes with being the world's tallest man. I guess that pretty much puts the brakes on my planned vacation to the "remote village in central Ukraine" that I was planning next year. Disneyland will just have to do instead. One would think that the remote village in the Ukraine would not become a tourism hotspot just on his accord......give me a break.

5. I also heard from some undisclosed sources close to the incident that at $100 a month plus the mint he's making from selling cucumbers and tomatoes, he probably doesn't need the money. What we all can learn from this is that if you lie about your height, you'll be found no matter where you live.