Friday, February 22, 2008

Recovery Day 3: Naming Rights

After days of excitement and creativity, the name suggestions for the boot have been clogging the fan mail inbox. I had two suggestions, the other 8 round out the top 10 names for the boot. There is a survey to the right, so don't forget to vote!!
  • World's Most Cumbersome Bottle Opener
  • Burt - I believe he is still dating Ernie
  • Gladiator Instruo Pro Suus Tunc Pugna - A fan mail addition. I did some 'loose' translation and I believe it means: Warrior strudel, served with a spicy Bolognese sauce. Those Greeks, drink waaay too much wine, but they always make stuff sound really cool.
  • George W. Bush - It's small, agitating, doesn't speak well, and from the smell of my foot, is most definitely not good for the environment.
  • The Bastard Step Child - You try to pretend that it's not there, but it annoys the piss out of you.
  • Norbert- This name accentuates the European look of the boot while playing upon the slightly clumsy undertones and boyishly disabling charm that it has.
  • Dolemite - Dolemite is big, black, and if your not nice, he will be all up in you ass.
  • Cletus - Cletus is stupid, clumsy, smells and is usually covered with automotive oil. Cletus spends his free time drinking cheap, warm beer and trying to get a date with his cousin(the left foot). Appropriately named, you want nothing do with Cletus, or any member of his family tree, which actually looks more like a family wreath.
  • Batman and Throbbin' - Don't be confused here, The Black Knight (Batman) is my left foot, as it can do amazing things like balance, walk and move. The invalid right foot, is it's worthless adolescent teammate, Throbbin. Throbbin has a cool superhero exterior, but doesn't actually do anything except hinder the heroic efforts of Batman (left foot). "Batman and Throbbin" coming to an infirmary near you!
  • Cialis - Cialis is always upright and rigid. When you have Cialis you will experience an erect foot lasting 4-6 weeks. In clinical studies, Cialis made nobody happy. In some cases Cialis causes liver and/or kidney disease from the user drinking away their pain. Cialis will get you no action, not even from the hot 50 year old lady in the commercial. Cialis is not recommended for anyone wanting to walk in the near future. Cialis may cause shortness of breath or sharp bursts of pain as you crutch around the house. Cialis is not recommended for those using nitrates for chest pain. See your doctor if you think Cialis is right for you, after all, we could all be miserable together.

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